I am an excellent roller skater. Very few people know this about me, not because I am modest, but because I have had trouble finding ways to work this fun fact into conversation.
boring person at party: Blah, blah, blah, my cousin's wedding.
me: I am an excellent roller skater.
Now imagine, if you will, me at the same party wearing heelies. When I find myself in a conversation that turns boring, I could turn and gracefully roll away on one heel. The boring person would then understand not only that he is boring, but also that I am probably an excellent roller skater (which I am).
Other times I have wished I was wearing heelies:
- airport terminals without moving walkways (see Charla from The Amazing Race)
- airport terminals with moving walkways (how awesome would that be?)
- times when the Trini tries to make me walk up giant hills for exercise (when I get tired, I can just roll down the hill and he'll never catch me)
- when around children (to make them jealous)
- when being chased by cops who are not wearing heelies
Did you know that they come in adult sizes? They do. Best thing ever.
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