Lady Mags

If you learn anything about me today, let it be this: I am a 35-year-old housewife. I may technically be 10 years younger with a full-time job and an incredibly messy apartment, but don't let that fool you. Deep down, I am a domestic goddess. It's my fun job and my friends and my jet-setting lifestyle that are keeping me from realizing my full potential.

Amazon.com knows the truth. They're always recommending things like Good Housekeeping magazine and bundt cake cookbooks and body pillows. Bed, Bath, & Beyond knows the truth. They're always sending me 20% off coupons in the mail, knowing that I secretly want to run out and buy a bundt pan and a body pillow. Even my husband knows the truth. He was the one I dragged to the craft store in Queens in a needlepoint emergency, and the one whose kitchen table was covered in homemade greeting cards after the rubber stamp fiasco of '08.

The place where my housewifery is most apparent is in my magazine selection. Many years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I read US Weekly and In Touch. But now that I'm many years older and more mature, I've graduated to lady mags. That's right, I subscribe to O Magazine and Real Simple. I read Martha Stewart Living at work and Better Homes and Gardens when I'm on an airplane. I even picked up Ladies' Home Journal last time I got a haircut.

And you know what? I'm not ashamed. Where else would I find out that Nars makes the best multitasking makeup? Who would tell me that wide-leg trousers and pencil skirts look "dumpy" with flats? Where would I learn how to repurpose ice cube trays as desk drawer organizers or how to make cranberry chutney from scratch?

I don't actually ever plan to become a housewife, but a part of me will always wish I had the time and the discipline to make my own candles and read books about how to live a fuller life.

O, The Oprah Magazine (1-year)
Real Simple (1-year)